In our quest for security and well-being, it's natural to seek safety in various forms. Yet, when this inclination becomes excessive and starts hindering daily life, it might be indicative of safety-seeking behaviors. These behaviors, while initially comforting, only offer a short-term solution to worry. They will often amplify anxiety and diminish our ability to cope effectively with uncertainty.
What are Safety-Seeking Behaviors?
Safety-seeking behaviors are actions or thoughts aimed at reducing anxiety or preventing perceived harm, often in situations where the threat is minimal or non-existent. For instance, repeatedly checking locks, going down the Google rabbit hole for health anxiety, or avoiding certain places are common safety-seeking behaviors. While they provide temporary relief, they reinforce the belief that danger is ever-present, perpetuating a cycle of anxiety.
Steps to Overcome Safety-Seeking Behaviors
Identify Triggers and Patterns: Begin by identifying specific triggers or situations that prompt safety-seeking behaviors. Awareness is the first step towards change. It can be helpful to keep a journal to track when and why these behaviors occur, noting thoughts and emotions associated with them. This way, when the catastrophizing thoughts recommence, you can more readily identify it as just that - catastrophization, instead of a real-life threat.
Challenge Irrational Beliefs: Safety-seeking behaviors often stem from irrational beliefs about danger and uncertainty. Challenge these beliefs by asking yourself: Gradually, you'll begin to recognize that many of these fears are exaggerated or unlikely.
What evidence supports this belief?
What evidence contradicts it?
What would happen if I didn’t engage in this safety behavior?
Practice Mindfulness and Acceptance: Mindfulness techniques can help you observe anxious thoughts/emotions/sensations without immediately acting on them. Practice staying present, acknowledging anxious feelings without judgment, and allowing them to pass naturally.
Experiment with Gradual Exposure: Systematically expose yourself to feared situations or stimuli in a controlled manner. Start with situations that provoke mild anxiety and gradually work your way up. This process helps desensitize you to feared outcomes and builds confidence in your ability to cope. It can be helpful (and sometimes necessary) to seek support from a therapist familiar with Exposure Therapy. These therapeutic approaches offer helpful guidance and tools to challenge safety behaviours effectively.
Develop Alternative Coping Strategies: Replace safety-seeking behaviors with healthier coping strategies. This might include deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or engaging in enjoyable, values-driven activities that distract you from anxious thoughts.
Real-Life Application
Imagine someone who constantly checks their email for fear of missing important messages. With therapy, they might explore the beliefs driving this behavior (e.g., "If I miss an email, something bad will happen") and gradually reduce checking frequency. By challenging these beliefs and experimenting with delayed checking, they learn that missing an email does not lead to catastrophic outcomes, thereby breaking the cycle of anxiety.
Breaking free from safety-seeking behaviors is a journey that requires patience, courage, and persistence. By understanding the roots of these behaviors, challenging irrational beliefs, and gradually exposing yourself to fears, you can reclaim control over anxiety and how to choose to spend your time and energy.
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