Trauma Processing: Befriending your Window of Tolerance

When a new client comes to me for trauma processing, my first step is to assess their "window of tolerance"—a term coined by Dr. Dan Siegel. This concept refers to the range of nervous system arousal where a person can effectively manage their emotions and experiences. Do they feel safe feeling their big emotions? Do they trust that talking about their trauma won't make them re-experience it? Do they start to get spacy or dissociate when I ask them tough questions? These factors, amongst others, are crucial in determining the appropriate pace for our work together, ensuring it is both safe and effective.

We all have a window of tolerance, and it's important to note that you don't have to experience trauma to find yourself operating outside of it. Anxiety, depression, and chronic stress can narrow your window of tolerance, increasing your likelihood of entering fight-or-flight or hypoarousal states. For individuals who have experienced trauma, it becomes particularly challenging for their mind and body to remain in the present moment, which significantly reduces their window of tolerance. The following image provides a helpful depiction of this phenomenon:

The good news is that over time, by working within your window of tolerance, your ability to confidently feel your emotions, integrate information, and remain connected to the present moment will increase. As a result, your window of tolerance widens and the depth at which you can heal also increases.

It is important to find a trauma-informed therapist who is sensitive to your nervous system responses during sessions. This ensures that the pace of therapy aligns with your needs. Moving too quickly can be harmful, while not addressing the expansion of your window of tolerance may hinder progress. A therapist who helps you attune to and gently challenge your nervous system can often facilitate more effective processing and healing. If you are looking to start therapy for trauma processing work, or for more general stress and anxiety reduction, I hope this provides some helpful insight into what to look out for and expect!

Wherever you are, I hope you find some moments of joy today.