The Beauty of Completeness

On days where we feel lost, sad, or maybe even a little bit helpless, we tend to search for things, people, experiences that are outside of what we already have. We have made ourselves believe that what we already have isn't enough -If what I have is enough, then why don't I feel better? But maybe, for a second, if we take a look at the bigger picture, we start to put it in perspective. No new person, no material item, no new job will be able to complete us, because they are not us, and our identity should never be found in something outside of ourselves.

It's important to know that what you already have is enough to be happy, to feel fulfilled, and to feel complete. If you're reading this, you have a beating heart, working lungs, and a functioning brain, which are the necessary components to creating your own completeness. The rest has to do with the love and care you show these necessary components, and your perspective on the workings outside of them.

In my experience, there are two things that will always be in our full control, and that most heavily affect how we navigate life: how we take care of ourselves, and our perspective on the world outside of ourselves. And typically, the better we take care of ourselves, the more positive, understanding, and resilient our perspective becomes. Properly taking care of ourselves is what develops the untouchable completeness we typically pursue in others.

The level of control we feel regarding everything else in our life, such as how good of a friend/partner we are, how understanding we are, how we handle stress at work, will depend heavily on the completeness we've built within ourselves. And where this completeness comes is solely and exclusively from taking control over what is already in reach -namely, our body and mind.

When we cannot confidently say, or genuinely believe, that we love ourselves, we are always enough, and we don't need anything to feel complete, it makes sense that we would pursue something or someone to fill that void. This is a dark and dangerous road, because with incompleteness comes insecurities, and with insecurities comes seeking validation from people outside of our own being, and with seeking validation comes unhealthy relationships. A relationship like this, where the other person "completes you", might work out for a moment, but when that person is eventually gone, you are back to square one: feeling that void with no remedy for your insecurities.

I have definitely experienced the feeling of a person enhancing my life, making things more fun, exciting, and meaningful. It's a beautiful and untouchable feeling, one that I want to experience many, many times. If you've also experienced this, I think it's important to reflect on where you were at in life before this seamlessly and surprisingly happened. Were you feeling good doing your own thing, and feeling content with yourself? Or were you actively searching for something because the feeling of being alone really disturbed you and made you feel uncomfortable? Taking a wild guess, it was probably the former.

If this feeling of incompleteness resonates with you, know you are alongside a gazillion other people who either have or currently feel that same void, but make a promise to yourself to slow down for a second and evaluate ways you can show yourself that you are all that you need, and then continue on that path. From here, only beautiful, healthy, and natural things will unfold: healthy friendships, romantic relationships, becoming less reactive to the world around us, living a life of integrity, and so much more.

There is nothing more beautiful and authentic than the feeling of completeness; with completeness comes relationships that last and resilience that never fades.