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Writer's picturecarlyhom

Body Image: Living with the inner critic

One thing to point out right off the bat is that how you feel about your body CAN change, without changing anything about your body itself. Hating your body is not a natural process. The inner critic has been informed by messages and stigmas we've learned over time. This is by no means an exhaustive post on how to address body image issues, but can hopefully serve as a helpful foundation.


A Helpful First Step


Tune into your inner dialogue. What are you saying to yourself? What thoughts are you fused to (i.e. what thoughts are you automatically believing as fact?). It's important to confront these beliefs and remind yourself that although they can seem VERY real, the inner critic and self-deprecating thoughts are simply mental events happening through the lens of judgment. Look out for beliefs like, "I'll be happy when I have the body I want" or, "I'll never be happy because I don't have the body I want", etc. These are cognitive distortions and believing these distorted thoughts will most likely stop you from doing a lot of things you would otherwise want to be doing, taking away precious time that could be spent engaging in activities that you love or interest you.


Positive Affirmations


You don't need to automatically believe positive affirmations for them to have a positive influence. Maybe only a small part of you believes them. The very act of introducing some new thoughts will start to unwind that automatic inclination to be swept away by the judgmental lens. It will start to make you believe that maybe there is a different, more accepting reality.


Some examples of positive affirmations that also reflect truth: "I am more than my body", "I am more than my fitness level", "I am more than my weight", "I don't need to look a certain way to be loved", "I can enjoy my life now", amongst so many other possible affirmations.


Kindness through Actions


One of the most common thoughts we believe when struggling with body image is that certain activities are off limits because of how we look, e.g. "I'll go to the beach when I look a certain way." or, "I'll start dating again when I look a certain way", etc.


If this is the case for you, I want you to ask yourself, what would happen if you did X activity today? And maybe... just maybe you do the thing.


Showing yourself kindness through actions despite the lens of judgment can help unwind some of those inhibiting thoughts. Sometimes, actions need to precede how we feel about something instead of the opposite way around. Choosing what you want your life to be about and using that as a compass can help facilitate doing seemingly difficult things to move in that direction is an act of self-kindness.


So there you have it. A few foundational elements to start unwinding and defusing from the lens of judgment. Often, body image struggles are deeply entwined with complex emotions and past experiences. If this is a persistent issue in your life it can be incredibly helpful to work with a therapist to get deeper with it and create lasting, sustainable change.


Hope you have a wonderful day :)

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