This is going to be a quick but important message. Maybe even a vital message if you are hoping to make the most out of life and reduce your suffering as much as possible.
I’ll start with this: The intentions behind your actions are nearly as important as the action itself. In other words, the same action can have two very different outcomes if the intentions going into it are different.
Two Main Intentions: Control Strategy vs. Valued Action
There are two main intentions to discuss here: Control strategy vs. valued action. A control strategy means to engage in an action with the intention of feeling better or altering your current reality. Using an action as a control strategy often exacerbates cycles of pain and disappointment.
A valued action means to engage in something with the intention of connecting with a deep-rooted value. Valued action guarantees contributing to a purposeful, intentional life, regardless of the outcome.
Here’s an example to hopefully seal the deal on this point. Let’s say you’re having a challenging day for whatever reason; maybe something recently happened that is leaving you feeling sad, angry, disgusted, or any other uncomfortable emotion that’s difficult to create space for, or maybe you’re feeling downhearted and low energy for no specific reason. You know that going to the movies is something you enjoy doing, so you decide to pick yourself up and head out to a show. Here are two different scenarios that include this action of heading to the movies:
Scenario #1 (control strategy): You decide to go to the movies because you figure it’ll help make you feel a bit better. You select a movie that interests you and that you’ve been wanting to see for a while. You get movie theatre popcorn and your favourite drink to help seal the deal of “this is going to help me feel better”. Although, after the movie you head home only to realize that you feel the exact same and are even more disappointed with yourself and your situation because you spent money and time on something that didn’t even make you feel better! If that didn’t work, nothing will! And you spiral from there.
Scenario #2 (valued action): You decide to go to the movies because you’ve identified that arts, culture, and time spent alone is something you deeply value. After the movie, you are still feeling just as sad and downhearted as you were before the movie, except there is a sense of accomplishment and no added suffering because you were able to spend the day engaging in something you value.
So there you have it, the quick but important message of checking in with yourself, “am I using this as a control strategy or as a valued action?” Very different outcome. And this isn’t to say that a valued action won’t make you feel better (often it does!), it’s just important that this isn’t the primary intention going into it. The other takeaway from this is to get super clear and intentional about what your values actually are!
Wherever you are, I hope you find moments of joy today!
_edited.png)
Yorumlar